Let's Go Shopping
by Bitway
Summary: When a couple of villains go out to a market, its anything but a normal shopping trip. {voxman, secret santa gift for mistahgrundy on tumblr}


a/n: ay I volunteered to help out with a secret santa! I didn't know voxman ss was a thing but I'm glad to help out with it! anywho I was given 3 prompts and went with the last one- voxman shopping but they're still villains so hi-jinks ensue. I hope I did this prompt justice! enjoy!

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"Hey, uh, PV?" Boxman clears his throat as he voices his question. His eye were glued onto the other's _additional_ attire. While his iconic scientist like visage hadn't changed, he did add a green cap and some dark sunglasses. Definitely not something he'd seen Venomous wear. Ever.

"What's up with the, you know," a claw points up, "the hat and glasses? N-Not that it's a bad choice or anything! I rather like them! It's just, err, unusual to see you like this."

"Oh, right." His shades were removed for the time being. "I take it you don't go out undercover often?"

"Undercover?" Confusion crosses the smaller's face before seeming to light up.

"Not the undercover you're imagining." Venomous could practically see the scheme forming in his eyes. Perhaps another time he'd indulge him on some undercover plan against the plaza. For now, his main objective was a bit more…tame. "I'm only going out to shop without having to deal with heroes."

"Oh ho! That sounds exciting! Although…why not have, whatever it is you want, delivered instead?"

"Well, unfortunately, not everyone is willing to ship to Boxmore," he sighs out. "And it's actually quite nice to go out every once in a while. Being cooped up inside for so long becomes intoxicating." And there was the underlying thrill of being found out by a hero, but that was only an added bonus.

"I completely understand!"

He didn't. It was something he'd rather let his children do. While they were out doing his errands he could focus on his machines and new plans against the plaza. On a rare occasion he would step out but it would never be to shop- when was the last time he'd actually gone out to do that anyway?

"So…" Boxman's eyes dart back and forth. He takes a step closer to the other man. "Would you mind a bit of company on your little shopping trip? Perhaps I could come with you?"

Venomous stares at the other, thinking about his answer. As tempting as it was to say no, Boxman was putting on his best puppy dog eyes. If it was intentional or not, he couldn't say.

_'Oh well, what's the worst that could happen?'_

"Alright, you can come along, but-" Venomous raises a hand, stopping the other as he had jumped in joy to the answer. "You need to wear something to hide your identity. Something that won't attract attention."

"Oh, don't you worry, PV! You're looking at the master of disguise himself! Just give me one second and you won't even know it's me!"

~…~

"Ugh! I can't believe this supermarket sells such- such trash here!" Boxman complains, quite loudly, as he throws his hands into the air. If his mix match of clothing (a cowboy hat, an eyepatch to cover his robotic eye, that shirt he'd once worn when he was staying over the bioengineer's home) hadn't captured passerby's attention, then his complaints surely would.

"Little machines- not even robots to clean up after your mess! Why, I could be putting Jethros out here and making more than these supposed 'heroic' machines." He huffs with arms crossed.

"I know, Boxy. Your work is great. Better than anything here." While the praise comes out in a dull tone, he meant every word of it. His gaze, for now, drifts elsewhere. Eyes scan the shelves trying to find that new snack Fink was dead set on having. He wasn't too thrilled to be getting her more junk food, but if it kept her happy then he could spare it as a treat every once and while. He'd need to find something healthy to balance it out though.

Meanwhile, Boxman had marched up to the display with those pesky cleaning machines. He'd given the stand a good kick before finding something else. Something more unbelievable.

"Find anything of interest?" Venomous asks when he hears the other's footsteps. When he turns his head, his eyes widen at the amount of goods Boxman had brought and set into their shopping cart.

"I have! Did you know they sell this kinda junk here?" Boxman pulled out of the many items brought over. In his claws was an alarm to 'scare' villains away. Venomous had to narrow his eyes behind those shades to make sure he even read that correctly.

"Wow…"

"You know, I thought of something after seeing these! Even if they're a bit silly, I say we buy them all! That way no one else can have them! We can even replace them with some Boxmore approved merchandise that would have quite the opposite effect!" Boxman starts to laugh at his genius idea.

"Not a bad idea." Venomous says while picking up some 'anti-villain' spray. Did…people really believe this thing would work agains them? Heroes might as well be as bad as them if they were selling this.

"I'll go and get the rest!"

Boxman hops away from the cart, readying to grab some more. Just as he's piling on more in his hands, carrying more than he should, his hat is knocked off. A "whoops," escapes and he aims to pick it up.

"Hey!" The shout catches him off guard, jumping and causing a few items to fall. "You're Boxman, aren't you?" A shopper- hero was pointing at him.

"Wh-What are you talking about?! I'm not Boxman, I'm, uhh…uhhh…" _Think fast, Boxy!_ "Boxy!"

"Nice try." Boxman huffs at that cover had failed. "Your villainous kind isn't welcomed here!"

"Well, excuse me! There was no sign saying that we weren't welcomed, you know!"

"Actually, there is." The hero only points towards the entrance. Although it was backwards from their point of view, the sign, stuck on the automatic door clearly read NO VILLAINS ALLOWED.

"Oh…" A pause as he stares at that sign before turning back to the hero. "Well, we're staying and shopping here and there's nothing you can do to make us leave!"

"We?" The hero goes on guard, looking for someone else- a robot most likely. But, he's surprised when he finds a well timed appearance by his partner, who was pushing the filled cart and staring at the scene before him. "Is that…Professor Venomous?"

Venomous looks to the hero and the innocently smiling Boxman. It didn't take much to put two and two together. He sighed.

"Oh, what a shame. Seems we've been exposed," Venomous says.

"Don't worry, PV!" Boxman drops all the items he'd been carrying. "I have just the thing for this situation!" A remote button is pulled out of his pockets. When pressed, it only takes seconds for a Boxmore box to come crashing down through the ceiling, landing between them and the hero.

When the box opens it reveals Darrell and Shannon ready to fight. Or were ready to fight until they spot their father.

"Hi, Daddy! Oh, are we allowed to come on the shopping trip now?"

"Ew, why should Dad bring you to go shopping?"

"Because he loves me! That's why!"

Already fed up with their bickering, Boxman fumes. "Darrell! Shannon! You were called here to get rid of a hero!" He points towards him. "Now go so we can finish our shopping!"

They give a salute to their father before turning to the hero, wearing grins as they get ready for this brawl. It doesn't take long for this fight to cause some more destruction within the market.

"There. Now we'll have no more trouble!" Boxman states proudly as he walks to Venomous's side.

"Well, it's a good thing we're almost done here." Venomous takes off his shades. His disguise wasn't needed any longer. "I need to grab one last thing for Fink before we can go." He begins to turn the cart around to avoid being caught in the growing chaos.

"Lead the way, PV!"

With a little grin, he begins to push the cart out this aisle, now scanning which one would hold that videos game soda she wanted. Unfortunately, the treck there isn't easy. The summoning of Boxmore bots had called forth more heroes. And now a few had come to block their path.

It's Venomous's turn to take the lead now. With ease, he pulls out a ray gun from his coat pocket. He aims for the couple of heroes that are lunging forward. The trigger is pulled and they're blasted back.

"Come on before more start trying to crowd us." Venomous turns down the last aisle. Eyes narrow to find that pack of soda. He's hoping they have it and- "There it is!"

"I got it!" Boxman shouts right after, following the other man's extended arm. He makes a quick dash to grab it. An unexpected hero comes from the other end of the aisle, eyes set upon Boxman.

Venomous covers him. Aims and shoots at the opposing hero. Said hero is not only hit by his blast, but also a part- an arm that flew off from Darrell. That would keep him knocked out for sure.

With that out of the way, Boxman dashes back with the soda pack in hand. He makes a jump and lands into the shopping cart, holding up the drinks triumphantly.

"Time to go."

Getting out was far easier with the incapacitated heroes. Not to mention the lack of line to pay…not that they were going to pay. After all, they're villains.

The parking lot was emptier compared to how it was when they first arrived. They could only guess that the commotion had caused most, if not everyone, to run for their lives. At least it made getting to their car a smooth trip.

Once everything had been unloaded into the trunk, the two look back to see the market. More holes were being blasted, smoke was rising, alarms had finally gone off.

"Say, why don't we leave a few more robots behind?" Boxman asks with a chuckle.

"I like the way you think."

With that approval, Boxman pulls out his button once more. It's pressed multiple times, causing more than one box to fall from the sky and land into the battle. A part of the market caves in thanks to this.

Boxman lets out a content sigh, moving to lean against Venomous. He never thought shopping could be this…fun.

"Isn't this just a wonderful sight?"

Venomous smiles down at Boxman, putting a hand on his shoulder. His gaze lingers on the other before having it rest back on the market.

"It sure is, Boxy."


End file.
